Pakalibe mikangano - chizindikiro cha ubale linatsala pang'ono kuwonongedwa?

Ife tonse tikudziwa kuti mikangano zonse ndi mikangano kuwonongedwa kwa maukwati. Koma bwanji ngati pali mfundo akukambirana? Kodi ngati chibwenzicho akhoza usathe chifukwa cha kusowa mikangano pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi?

zamatsenga chiŵerengero

Doktor Dzhon M. Gottman ndi zamaganizo chiphatso. Zaka zambirimbiri, akatswiri kuphunzira mtendere wa banja. Iye anadziwika popeza anapeza "matsenga chiŵerengero" mwa ophatikidzana zabwino ndiponso zimene ankachita zoipa, umene uli 5 1. Mu mawu ena, mu amphamvu ndi mosalekeza mgwirizano, aliyense kuchepetsa ndi chochitika zoipa asanu positive.

Nthawi zina, kukangana zikhonza kukhala zothandiza?

zoipa zambiri afooketse ubwenzi. Izi n'zodziŵika choonadi. Komabe, malinga ndi chiphunzitso cha Dr. Gottman, kupanda negativity akhoza kukhala chizindikiro cha ukwati watembereredwa. Kupeza bwino mulingo woyenera pakati pa maganizo kosiyana popenyana ndi maganizo atsopano a m'banja. Akatswiri lero athu amati negativity ayenera kukhalira, ngati cholinga chanu ndi kumanga amphamvu ndi yaitali mgwirizano.

Wachisoni amagwira ntchito yofunika ena ntchito prosocial

Ngati maganizo olakwika sanali tiyenera, chikhalidwe sakanatha kulenga iwo. Iwo ayenera osati pofuna kukwaniritsa chimwemwe, komanso kulenga chokuchitikirani - injini za chitukuko cha munthu. Zinthu mbali yofunika kwambiri mu ena ntchito prosocial. Tikuyankhula zokhudza kusankha mogwirizana machenjerero kuti sizikugwira ntchito komanso kuti incitement wa chikondi. Mbali yoyamba, pa maziko a zinawachitikira anthu kumvetsa khalidwe ayeneranso kupewa m'tsogolo. Ngati chachiwiri, iwo musataye chikondi kufa. Ambiri a ife tamva kuti: "Pambuyo mfundo yamphamvu akubwera chiyanjanitso mofulumira". Amene anakwatirana konse nkhondo, kusowa inki mu chibwenzicho. Motero, anthu okwatirana mulibe kulengeza nkhondo pa negativity mu miyoyo yawo. M'malo mwake, moyo ndi kuvutanganitsidwa wopanda ndi mikangano adzakhala mosaneneka kuzimiririka ndipo penapake opanda moyo.

Mikangano kuthandiza kuti azolowere kusintha

Dr. Gottman lingaliro ndi akazi angapereke kwa mzake maganizo choipa. chakuti dziko lonse zikusintha, ndipo tiyenera kuchita izo. Nkhondo yabwino yoti cholinga ichi. Choncho abwenzi osati kuphunzira kuti azolowere zinthu zatsopano, koma nthawi zonse "pa timaganiza mofanana."

Pamene kuchuluka kwa otsika khalidwe

Tipitirize kuzindikira zizindikiro za ukwati wangwiro. Ife takambirana "matsenga chiŵerengero" maganizo mu ukwati ogwirizana ndipo anapeza kuti aliyense abwenzi makani muyenera "ntchito" mu usanu ofanana. Kuwonjezera chiwerengero cha mikangano, sakhoza Kuchotsera ndi khalidwe (mmene chiwawa kukangana ndi lalitali). Dr. Gottman ndi anzake pa mayesero awo anapeza kuti skirmishes achezera analibe zotsatira achire monga chiwawa nkhondo abwenzi maganizo kwambiri. Choncho, pakalibe escalation zoipa pankhondo amatipeza wafunsira kukayikira mphamvu iliyonse positive. Anapeza kuti awiriawiri modekha zotsutsana amalembedwa kusowa kwa chikondi, kufunira, kudzikonda Izitu n'zovutitsa, chisangalalo, chimwemwe, thandizo ndi chisomo.

Mosiyana, ubale wosakhazikika ndi ndewu protracted si nthawi zonse kuyambitsa chophukacho. Othandiza mu mgwirizano umenewu pa chilichonse zotsatira zina thanzi. Ndipo tiyeni chikoka iyi si nthawi zonse zabwino. chinthu chimodzi momveka bwino: pempheroli mgwirizano kungachititse kuti bata, ngati abwenzi tikambirana "matsenga chiŵerengero" ndipo mwakhama kupanga malo abwino kwa kulimbitsa ankachita positive.

chiŵerengero Izi ndi oyenera malonda

Modabwitsa, ndi "matsenga chiŵerengero" 5 kuti 1 ntchito pa malonda. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti atsogoleri yabwino kwambiri pa zonse podzudzula atumiki kusiya avareji ndemanga 5.6 positive. Monga mukuonera, ndi chiwerengero ka zoipa ndi mbali yofunika ya ndondomeko lonse. Choyamba, kutsutsa (ndi makani) ndi kukopa tcheru. Chachiwiri, maganizo oipa amateteza wonyalanyaza.