Codependency ubale ndi chiyani? Kodi kuchotsa codependency: zamaganizo

anthu ambiri pa moyo wawo anakumana ndi mfundo codependency ubale, ndipo sakudziwa nkomwe za izo. munthu, amene anataya kudziyimira pawokha awo, nsapato ndi wofooka, izo sachedwa limati pafupipafupi aukali. mtima wake amadziwa kuti amadalira munthu wina, koma ubongo amalamula kuti ziyenera. Ambiri mabanja sindikudziwa momwe kuchotsa codependency ubale. Sakugwirizana, kupeza abwenzi atsopano, koma moyo ndi zikutsatiridwa.

Codependency ndi banja

Codependency - khalidwe la amphamvu, wina akhoza kunena, amakonda nthenda kwa munthu wina, ndipo alipo osati mabungwe chikondi. Mayi ndi mwana wamkazi, m'bale ndi mlongo, bambo ndi ana akhoza kukhala ophunzira timakhala zimenezi. Mwachitsanzo, bambo padziko N'zolimbikitsa mwana wamng'ono, maso ake angelo anakakamizika iye kuchita chilichonse cha zokhumba zake. Izo zimatengera mwana wake, ndipo iye sangathe kulimbana mmbuyo, ndipo iye, nayenso, podziwa ichi, akupitiriza kusintha izo.

Mwachitsanzo izi amaona codependent khalidwe ndondomeko ya papa ndi mwana. mwana wamkazi ndi manipulator, ndipo, nthawi zambiri, m'tsogolo, pamene msinkhu, iye amafunafuna mkazi, ngati bambo wake. Iye n'zosavuta kusintha ndipo amaganiza kuti ayenera kukhala choncho. Choncho, mu moyo wake mudzapezeka codependency ubale. Kodi kuchotsa izo, mtsikana, kumene, samadziwa, chifukwa ndi chodziwikiratu kuti aganizire zomwe ndi manipulator.

Ndi zina zingaoneke kuti kukhala chinthu chachikulu m'banja - ndi lalikulu, koma, monga ulamuliro, ndi katundu wolemera. Akazi amakonda kuchitapo kanthu, analamula mwamuna wake ndipo kenako akudandaula kuti iye sikutanthauza ndi chilichonse munthu wanzeru.

Codependency - matenda?

Ndithudi, zamaganizo ambiri amakhulupirira kuti ndi matenda amene sangathe nthawi zonse anawachiritsa. Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zimene amaphunzitsa kuchotsa codependency mu ubale ndi chizolowezi. Mu njira zambiri, njira zimenezi zikutsutsana ndi mzake, koma iwo mfundo zonse chakuti "matendawa" wobadwa ubwana.

Ntchito makolo polera mwana, ndi kumupatsa iye maphunziro ndi chidziwitso, ndi chimene adzapita mukadzakula. Ana ayenera kumva kuti amakondedwa ndi kumvetsetsa. Kwa zaka 6 apanga maganizo a dzikoli lomwe m'tsogolo zovuta kusintha. Kusowa kwa chitetezo pa nthawiyo ndipamene sitolo yaikulu ana maofesi, zomwe iwo ankatenga iwo onse moyo wanga.

Nthawi zambiri, ana amene nedolyubili, kukula osatetezeka. Iwo chatsekedwa kwambiri ndi mantha. Akuluakulu iwo zimakhudzidwa ndi anthu ena, ndipo iwo zosavuta ntchito. Ambiri sakudziwa nkomwe kuti iwo ali pansi pa chikoka cha manipulators, ndi moyenera, sindikudziwa momwe kuchotsa codependency mu chikondi ndi mgwirizano.

Kodi kuzindikira boma kudalira pa munthu wina

Chinthu choyamba kudzipenda ndi ubale wathu ndi anthu. Yesani moona kuyankha mafunso angapo:

1. Kodi inu mlandu pa zolephera za ena?
2. Inu mulibe cholinga cha moyo, ndipo inu tikungotaya nthawi yanu pachabe ntchito ndi zapakhomo?
3. Kodi muli ndi chidwi chanu amazilamulira ena (kumene mukupita; zingati kubwerera, amene akukuitana)? Ndipo mumagwiritsa kuilamulira?
4. Ngakhale ngati simukufuna kuti ndinu okonzeka kuthandiza munthu amafuna?
5. Kodi ndinu munthu wamanyazi? Inu mulibe nthawi yabwino kupempha malangizo wodutsayo ndi?
6. Kodi inu nkhawa zimene anthu ena amaganiza za inu?

Ngati osachepera theka la mafunso awa mwayankha kuti inde - ndinu codependent munthu. Mukhoza zawo, ndipo ngati munthu si ngakhale pafupi, izo nthawizonse zidzakhala, chifukwa amangomvera bwino "kuona adani awo." N'zochititsa chidwi kuti ubale co-yozungulira ndi Nthawi zambiri anthu osachepera awiri. Ndiko awiri chotero, onse awiri ali mu chikhalidwe ichi, m'madera ofanana. Anthu amakhala m'banja ndipo n'komwe za zimene azipereka codependency ubale. Kodi kutaya chikhalidwe ichi ndi mtendere sakudziwa nkomwe. Ndipo anthu omwewo amene kumvetsetsa kuti kudalira munthu wina, amakhulupirira kuti sizidzasintha.

Kuopa akulankhula za zilakolako zawo

anthu Codependent atsekedwa kwambiri okha. Koyamba, kumene anthu akhoza kukhala sociable kwambiri, kulankhula kwa maola nkhani zoseketsa, koma n'zokayikitsa kunena chinachake chokhudza iwowo. Anthu awa mantha kulankhula za zilakolako zawo poyera. Iwo kwambiri amakonda masewera otchedwa "tiziike ndekha." Mwachitsanzo, pa tebulo ku funso lakuti: "Kodi mukufuna: tiyi kapena madzi" - yankho ingathe kuchitidwa ndi: "Kodi mukufuna, ine sindikusamala." ndemanga iyi akusonyeza kuti wofunsayu komabe tiyenera kuganiza ndi ndikulingalira zilakolako za amene iye anafunsa. Izo ziri chimodzimodzi zomwe zikuoneka codependency ubale. Kodi kuchotsa a "matenda" banjali sakudziwa, ndi moyo chotero ndi moyo wake onse.

Obsessions, kapena masewera Chete

Mabanja codependent zambiri kupeza zinthu zimene okwatiranawo kusankha theka lachiwiri ndi yomweyo atangokanidwa iwo. Tiyerekeze zinthu pansipa.

Mwamuna anaiwala kudzamuthokoza tsiku lanu lapamtima la 8 la March. Mkazi yomweyo, popanda izo, amazindikira kuti iye anachita izo pa cholinga. Kumene chitha, ndipo amafunsa funso limeneli, koma malingaliro anga ali wokonzeka Yankho: ". Mwamuna The chiyani pa cholinga, yophunzitsa kwa ine, kungakhale kotheka kuti iye abwezere" Ndiye mkazi akuyamba kuyambitsa ndondomeko kubwezera: ". Ndipo ine ndipita ndi anzake kugula ndi amawononga ndalama zonse kwa khadi lake" Mwamuna mu kusakhulupirira amakhulupirira kuti mkazi wake kwambiri wolowerera, ndipo wasankha kusachita kubweretsa kunyumba ndalama zonse.

Ndi mawu snowball unsaid ndi kuchita molakwika inamera nkhani yatsopano mpaka kugwa mpaka mabanja pamutu. Chabwino, izi zimabweretsa manyazi akulu, ndi pa zikachitika - adzatsogolera lithe.

kuphunzira kulankhula

Anthu amazindikira kuti ali pa ubwenzi woterewu, iwo ndi funso: "Kodi kuchotsa codependency ubale" Berry zamaganizo Uaynhold Nsonga angathandize kwambiri kuthetsa vutoli. Iye ndi mkazi wake, Jenny famba njira ya ufulu. Atakumana, aliyense wa iwo anali kale m'banja, ndipo anagona ena olakwika zokhudza banja. buku lakuti "Kumasuka ku codependency," lolembedwa ngati olemba zodabwitsa monga Berry Uaynhold ndi Dzheney Uaynhold limafotokoza nkhani codependency ndi njira zawo.

Chinthu choyamba (ndi zofunika kwambiri) ndiyotani pakuchotsa vutoli amatha kulankhula za mmene akumvera theka lake lachiwiri. No zofunika zochepa ndi mukumvetsera kwa munthu mumaikonda.

Apa ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha mmene kuchotsa codependency m'chikondi olemba m'buku lino. Atatsala pang'ono Berry anakumana Jenny, iye mkazi wake anamuika m'manda Barbara. Iye anali wachisoni kwambiri ndipo akufunika thandizo. mkazi sanayambe kukhumudwa kuti ndipo anathandiza Berry. Pa nthawi Jenny anamvetsera nkhani Mkazi mkazi wake ndipo anamupatsa malangizo kupirira tsoka. Iwo linatsegulidwa kwa iye, ndipo iye chifukwa sanali zolakwa kwa iwo.

yankho mwamsanga mkangano

Pali chinthu chimodzi chofunika kwambiri chimene chimathandiza kuchotsa codependency ubale. Pa chilichonse nkhondo banja, ndipo mosalephera. Popeza aliyense ali osiyana, aliyense ali ndi maganizo, ndipo nthawi zambiri sangathe agwirizane maganizo naye Mulungu. Nkofunika pamene pali nkhondo Musatseke chakukhosi wokonda ake. Ngati mawu ake kadzakupwetetekani inu, kumuuza iye za izo panthawi yomweyo. Musati mudikire mpaka nthawi yoyenera, ndi kusasunga chakukhosi mu mtima wake.

Pemphero chithandizo

Nkofunika kudziwa mmene zinachitikira ali ana yopweteka kwambiri kwa inu, ndi zimene anapanga inu kukhala wodalira pa zochitika m'banja. Yesani vuto la ubwana ndi theka anu ena. Pano pali chitsanzo china cha mmene kuchotsa codependency ubale olemba Berry Uaynhold ndi Dzheney Uaynhold. Monga mwana wa kholo la Jen amalandira zochepa kutentha thupi kukhudzana. Berry anamuthandiza kupirira vuto ili: anagwira m'manja wake ndi magazi anayima nthawi yaitali, iye mwachidule anabwerera ali mwana ndipo m'malo ndi makolo ake. Ndipemphe wanu wokondedwa kukupatsani chinachake kuti simungathe kupeza makolo awo. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti musiye maofesi ambiri nawo ali ana.

kusintha bwenzi

Anthu ena amakhulupirira kuti kuti tichotse codependency, m'pofunika kusudzula mwamuna. Komabe, njira imeneyi si nthawi yabwino. Izi zimatheka pamene bwenzi mwamtheradi sindikufuna kusintha chirichonse mu moyo wake. Kodi chidzaoneka kusintha chomwecho, ngati iye akana codependency ubale? Kodi kuchotsa chimene asaone ndi satenga kwambiri?

Koma ngati ena wanu kwambiri ndi wokonzeka kusintha, wokonzeka kusintha kabwerebwere moyo ndi kuchotsa codependency ndiye muyenera kuyenda njira iyi pamodzi. Kusintha koyenera kuti akazi, kuti aliyense wa iwo akanakhoza kumva zawo Kudzidalira ndi kukhala payekha.

The chidwi kwambiri, mwina, ubale co-yozungulira kuti ajombera amachititsa munthu namondwe wa maganizo. Kodi chizolowezi mowa amafuna chakumwa, choncho abwenzi co-yozungulira muyenera mikangano ndi zoipa. Mu kuwerenga maganizo akuti kuti amasuke ku mgwirizano woterowo amatchedwa kudalirana. Mu awiri aliyense okonda ayenera kumva okhulupirika ndiponso Kudzidalira. Munthu ayenera kudziwa kuti chikondi moona mtima kwa ndani kwenikweni. Nkofunika kudziwa kuti awiri okha anthu moona ufulu kukhala osangalala pamodzi ndipo modalirana.