Oseketsa skits za sukulu. Oseketsa skits zazifupi za sukulu

Zokongoletsa ya holide iliyonse mwanayo ndi oseketsa skits za sukulu. OIO amachitika makoma mbadwa, Khirisimasi chipani, Tsiku Mphunzitsi, Tsiku la Sukulu ya kubadwa - koma inu konse zifukwa zazikulu kuti zosangalatsa!

Tikusangalala kupereka inu kusankha zochitika zingapo kuti kuthandiza kulenga maganizo chikondwerero.

dialogues lalifupi

Zoperekedwa muli ang'ono oseketsa skits za sukulu sikutanthauza kuloweza wa zokongola ndi malemba yaitali.

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Ena wophunzira tulo anati kwa wina:

- Ine mwina chifuwa!

- N'chifukwa chiyani mukuganiza choncho?

- Inde, ine onse ataphimbidwa ndi bulangeti ndi kugona nthawi yonse!

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ophunzira awiri pambuyo phunziro madera:

- Lang'anani, ine sindikukhulupirira kuti Earth sangathenso!

- Kodi n'chifukwa chiyani?

- Inde, ngati izo ziri ozizira, nyanja akanati kalekale anakhetsa!

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Otaika mokwiya akuuza mnzake:

- Kodi inu mungalingalire? mphunzitsi anafuna kuti ine adzatchedwa basi magawano mtundu! Ndipo ine sindikufuna whisking masamu!

Mu labu kompyuta

Zotsatirazi skits zoseketsa za sukulu komanso sikutanthauza zokongoletsa wapadera. Only mu kufunika yotsirizira kukhala potsanzira kalasi kompyuta.

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Opusa sekondale mtsikana mmkudzionetsera, kuyang'ana pa piritsi pa galasi:

- Yatsani m'kalirole wanga, ndiuzeni! Inde, lonse choonadi lipoti! Ine kokha chida kuwala kwa mokomera onse? Onse slimmer ndi zambiri yapamwamba?

Galasi (drawl, koma mokwiya):

- Ine ndikupatsani inu yankho lanu! Kodi inu! Ine - phale!

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Wophunzira anafunsa aphunzitsi:

- Ivan Ivanovich, ndipo muli ndi mwana anali piritsi?

- Ayi, kodi mukufuna, ndiye kompyuta palibe!

- Ndipo kodi inu kusewera?

- Pa msewu!

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Kukonza dona akubwera mu chipinda chochezera ndi mosamalitsa akufunsa kuti:

- Ndani pano amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito kompyuta?

ophunzira onse, popanda yekha, kuti: "Ndine."

Kukonza dona (anaopseza):

- Ndiye mwamsanga Intaneti ndi kuyang'ana malo pamene inu kuphunzira kugwiritsa ntchito chimbudzi!

Zochitika pa mwambowu sukulu: zoseketsa ndipo osati kale kwambiri

Chinthu ichi sidzatenga mbali khalidwe la zisudzo la. "Botan" ayenera kuvala magalasi ndi mosamalitsa kulankhula, mtsikana ndi bwenzi lake - kuyang'ana mopusa, akunyang'ama ndi aluntha.

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Munthuyo anayang'ana ngati mmene "nerd," anatero mnzake:

- Kodi mukuganiza kuti ine Tomka otchedwa kunyumba kuti ndiwone chimene iye ndi kompyuta si choncho! Bwerani, ndipo Tingaone, onse mu malo amodzi akhoza kukhala! Pa mpando kupota, amene momuzungulira chingwe pa mwendo wa mpando. Ndinalumbirira, anakumasulani chingwe, kuika pulagi analumpha, anatembenuka pakompyuta ndi kumanzere.

Tomochka, pakubwezeretsa maso ake motsindika limatiuza mnzakeyo wake:

- O, izi Lyutikov komweko akhoza kuponyedwa!

- Mukutanthauza chiyani?

- Chabwino, iye anabwera kwa ine, anayang'ana pa kompyuta, kuika manja ake mmwamba, m'khutu chinachake chachinsinsi, anatembenuka mpando wanga nthawi 10 counterclockwise, kompyuta mateche phazi, kachiwiri m'khutu china choopsa ndi kumanzere. Tangoganizani, zinayenda!

Mnzanga, pochita nacho chidwi:

- Oo! Warlock!

skits nthabwala za sukulu

Atauza phunziro la mphunzitsi zachilengedwe mbiri anafunsa kalasi:

- Chabwino, tsopano inu kumvetsa chifukwa chake chisanu m'nyengo yozizira, ndi m'chilimwe si?

Petrov, pa mpando wake:

- Inde, ndithudi! Ngati iye anagwa m'chilimwe, akanakhala anasungunuka!

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Mu phunziro Russian, aphunzitsiwo anati:

- Petrov, "Ine kuphunzira, inu kuphunzira, akuphunzira" - Ndi nthawi yanji?

Petrov, ndi akuusa moyo ndi:

- Lost, Mar Ivanna!

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Mnyamata wa abwenzi kwambiri koyenera kuti:

- Andrei, anapita usikuuno mu cafe ndi atsikana!

Andrew, kuganiza:

- Ayi, sindipita nawe! Pali nyimbo maseche, phokoso onse ...

- Kotero?

- Inde, ine ndikukayikira kuti zikatero Ine angamvetsetse akamanena za Lebesgue-Stieltjes.

Zithunzi ophunzira wamng'ono

Zotsatirazi oseketsa skits - sukulu ya pulayimale. Iwo akhoza bwinobwino asonyeza pa chikondwerero ana. Komabe, ophunzira akusekondale adzakhala ndi thandizo comrades wake wamng'ono.

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wophunzira sekondale akuti anzake:

- Taonani momwe opusa woyamba grader! Ine ndikusonyezani inu!

Kuitana mwana ndipo pamene iye akufika, iye anati kwa iye:

- Mu dzanja ili Ine 50 rubles, ndi 10 - kuti ukatenge?

Mwana amatenga rubles 10. sekondale ophunzira kuseka, wopota chala chake ku kachisi wake, kugwedeza.

choyamba-grader bwanawe pambali akufunsa kuti:

- N'chifukwa chiyani kusankha rubles 10?

Choyamba grader osangalala mawu:

- Chabwino, ngati ine kusankha 50, masewera idzakhala pa!

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Choyamba-grader akuona zozipakapaka pa sekondale (pochita nacho chidwi):

- Maphunziro, amene muli misomali yaitali!

Kusekondale, affectations:

- Nchiyani mukufuna?

- Chabwino, inde! Iwo mwina kotero omasuka mitengo kukwera!

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Amayi akuyang'ana koyamba grader tsikulo. Ndipo apo deuce anawoloka, ndipo chotsatira ndi anayi. Mayi mantha:

- Vanya! Kodi izo?

Vanya, kuyang'ana modekha pa mayi ake kuti:

- Tili aphunzitsi anati ngati tikufuna, titha kukonza kalasi zoipa!

Zithunzi ndi aphunzitsi

Zotsatirazi lalifupi oseketsa skits za sukulu akhoza kusewera okha, koma akhoza kukakhala nawo pa iwo ndi aphunzitsi.

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Kambiranani ndi aphunzitsi:

- Sidorkin ine sanalonjeze kuti likonzedwe deuce wake?

- Inde, Mar Ivanna.

- Ndipo ine sanalonjeze kuitana makolo anu, ngati inu simumachita izi?

- Inde, Mar Ivanna, koma ngati ine sanasunge lonjezo lake, ndipo iwe sungakhoze kuwagwira kumbuyo kwake

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mphunzitsi amayang'ana pa mosamalitsa latecomer:

- Semyon! Ndinu mochedwa kachiwiri! ndi nthawi ino?

Umuna, anapepesa n'kufotokoza:

- Mar Ivanna, ine ndinawuka, anayang'ana pa ora lomwelo, ndipo anavutika blinked.

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Music mphunzitsi akutembenukira kwa amayi:

- mwana wanu muyenera kuimba limba!

Mayi, moyo kwambiri:

- Ambuye, komwe zambiri! Tili ndi mnansi chiwiri utachokapo!

Maloto, maloto ...

Aang'ono awa oseketsa skits za sukulu kale amafuna osachepera zokongola, kusonyeza kuti anyamata anatuluka sukulu, ngakhale nkhaniyi zichitike panthawi yopuma lapansi. Izi zidalira pa malingaliro a wotsogolera nyimbo.

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Sidorov, moyo kwambiri, akuchokera ku sukulu. Ivanov akufunsa kuti:

- Sidorov, mukutani? Deuce nawo?

Sidorov mwachisoni:

- A-nha.

Ndipo anapitiriza wistfully:

- Tangoganizani, kodi zosavuta kuphunzira ngati masamu Lingaliro Lovomerezeka akhoza kukhala ndi umboni ndi mawu akuti: "Inde, sakhoza kuona chomwecho!"

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Man dreamily: "Zingakhale zabwino ngati ife tikanakhoza kuwerenga maganizo! Ndikufuna ndiye chonena mu kalasi! "

bwenzi lake: "Eya, ndipo komabe iye ankadziwa kuti mphunzitsi akuganiza pamene inu kuyankha zolakwika!"

Romance

Kumene, lalifupi oseketsa skits za sukulu sangaunyalanyaze kuti nthawi zina mosayembekezeka kumaonekera chisoni sukulu pakati pa anyamata ndi atsikana.

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Little Johnny operekeza Masha kunyumba kuchokera kusukulu ndipo limatiuza ake monyinyirika:

- Mverani, Mary, ine ndikufuna kuvomereza kwa inu (Imani) (hereinafter amalankhula mofulumira) mpaka inu mutapita bolodi, Nditaichotsa pa mapiko a ntchentche ndi mosungiramo mbiri yanu! Pepani!

Masha, ndi squint lokopa:

- Ine ndikudabwa ngati izo ndi zokoma?

Little Johnny anasokoneza:

- sindikudziwa ... Kodi mukufuna?

Masha mwakachetechete:

- Inde, ine ndikufuna kupepesa, kwambiri! Ine ndichita izo kwa inu mu msuzi mu chodyera chipinda waponya mpaka anapita kukagula chakudya!

Komabe kuseka pang'ono

Ngakhale skits zoseketsa za sukulu nthawi zambiri itsegu- ku moyo, bungwe la chikondwererocho okha angabwere ndi chinachake chonga izo.

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chinenero maphunziro Russian Little Johnny akufunsa phwando la nyumba:

- Hei, kunena, kanyumba tchizi kapena kanyumba tchizi?

mnansi A kusintha magalasi ake, ndi nkhope molunjika:

- The motsindika "o"!

Little Johnny, pambuyo Imani ndi:

- Zikomo! Anapulumutsidwa, kotero kupulumutsidwa!

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Mnzanga (m'maonekedwe - ndi mwana kwambiri) amati ndi akuusa moyo ndi:

- Inde, Lozhkyn, mulibe mabwenzi mutu wake!

Lozhkyn kugwedeza:

- Ine ndiri nazo izo mwangwiro bizinesi - I kumudyetsa, ndipo iye amaganiza!

Kucheza ndi mphunzitsi

Oseketsa skits za sukulu - ngati inu kukonza KVN, kapena zochitika zina zosangalatsa - simungakhoze kuchita popanda kukambirana, ofanana zotsatirazi.

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mphunzitsi A amangolankhula mwana wasukulu fashionably atavala akuluakulu:

- Lera, mwachita bwino, munasiya kukhala mochedwa kusukulu!

- Inde, Mar Ivanna, ndi chifukwa cha amayi anga.

- Ndi kuti, anali bwino nkhani maphunziro?

- Ayi, iye basi anagula yekha yowoneka nsapato Italy!

- Kotero?

- Monga? Tsopano ine nditenga woyamba, kwa nthawi kuvala amayi awo kale! (Gordo zichotsedwa)

mphunzitsi chitaya mmwamba manja ake.

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Okalamba mphunzitsi, kubuula, akuti mnzake wake:

- Ine mwina m'mbuyo!

- Kodi mukulankhula za! Ndinu mphunzitsi bwino kusukulu!

- I kupeza kwambiri ... ndipita mu sitima m'mawa wonse wa anthu, ine kukweza maso anga ndipo anati mwamphamvu: "Moni, pansi!"

Oseketsa? Kumene, kupusa!

Oseketsa skits za sukulu chifukwa choti savuta kusewera, iwo popanda rehearsals wowawa. Chinthu chachikulu ndicho kukhala wosangalala mokondwera kuwapereka kwa amaonetsa wanu!

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- Mit, inu mukudziwa chomwe mawu umaimira "wapamwamba"?

- Chabwino, chinthu kwambiri zimene zili ndipo sangakhale.

- A "Hyper"?

- A "Hyper" ... (T Mitya mphumi) Oh! Ichi ndi chinthu china "wapamwamba"!

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Atsikana kuvina mu madansi ndi:

- Ee, inu simukudziwa chomwe Mosul?

- Chabwino, izo chotero fupa yaikulu, izo waika mu msuzi. Kodi mukufuna?

- Inde, ine ndakhala nyimbo ozizira kumva: «Inu mtima wanga, moyo wanga ...»

Pa siteji, iye adzayamba kuwomba nyimbo za Nyimbo yotchuka kuchitika ndi gulu Modern Kulankhula

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Petka ndi chachikulu "nyali" ndi pansi pa diso la mnzake:

- Petya iwe, n'chifukwa chiyani anaphimba mikwingwirima?

- The nkhondo snowball ndi mtsikana kusewera!

- Kotero?

- Kotero likukhalira, ku gulu junior a mpira! Ndi musaphonye izi!

Choncho Kubwalo la mpira

Ena skits zoseketsa za sukulu amafuna nawo zowonjezera. Koma iwo sadzakhala zovuta zisudzo.

Atsikana kukuwa kuukoka wamakani munthu. mphunzitsi wawo mabasi:

- Imani! Kodi chinachitika?

Mmodzi wa atsikana anakwiya:

- Lyutikov kazitape pa ife mu chipinda loka!

Mphunzitsi, mosamalitsa kuyang'ana pa Lyutikova:

- Kotero, ngati izo?

Buttercup anasokoneza chete, ndiye mokweza ikupereka:

- No!

Atsikana makolasi, drawling ndi kukhumudwa:

- Kodi si?

A ochepa nsonga kwa otsogolera

ndi zina zachidule oseketsa zonse za sukulu, monga mukudziwa, idzaseweredwe moona mtima ndi mofatsa. akanema kochepa ndipo saletsa.

Pa siteji mukhoza kuika Mwachitsanzo, madesiki awiri ndi gulu recreate maonekedwe a kalasi. Ngati zinthu zimachitika panthawi yopuma kapena panjira kunyumba, mungathe kulota mmwamba. Pakuti "msewu kunyumba" mokwanira ndi munthu mtengo kapena benchi. Ndi zinthu, ikuchitikira hallway sukulu akhoza idzaseweredwe pamaso pa zenera lalikulu chakumbuyo.

Kwambiri pa masewero awa yochepa - musati zimamuchulukira zokongoletsa zawo. Iwo waufupi, ndi kotero muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa zimene wosewera anena, osati ngakhale kuti wazunguliridwa pa mphindi ino.

Kumanga zithunzi mu konsati wina, mukhoza kuitana mwini, amene akufotokozera omvera, kumene zinthu anapatsidwa. Khalani kulenga, ndi holide anu ndithu kukumbukira udzabala zinachitikira kwambiri!